Biden Explains Chains Remark

“Trying to Regain Porn Star Vote”
Vice President Joe Biden today accused Republicans wantingto “puty’all back in chains.”  Aspokesperson for the Obama campaign later admitted that the Vice President hadbecome deeply concerned ever since pornstar Jenna Jameson declared her support for Republican candidate Mitt Romneythat more of the Democrats’ natural constituency might abandon them.  “It’s bad enough that people in industrialunions, suburban moms, and other previous supporters are not likely to supportthe President,” said the spokesperson.  “Butwhen we lose even the aging porn stars we know that we have a big challengeahead.  Who knows how many are attractedby Paul Ryan’s buff figure?”
The Administration has gone into overtime mode trying tomeet this new challenge.  Secretary ofState Hillary Clinton along with Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano proposedthe most aggressive strategy, code named “Whips and Spurs.”  Clinton said that this kind of imagery willhelp woo back adult film actors to be alongside of their more “legitimate”Hollywood colleagues.  “There’s verylittle difference among all these actors,” said Clinton.  “I think that we can help them see how muchthey have in common.  I might add that ‘whipsand spurs’ help keep Bill in line, and Huma tells me that they have helped tocontrol Tony, also.”  It is believed thatthe Obama campaign will solicit the service of left-wing bloggers to test thestrategy, starting in Northern Virginia.
Reaction from the Romney camp was terse.  “Mr. President, get your campaign out of thedungeon,” said the former Massachusetts Governor.  “Your failures are clearly ‘torturing’ you!”